"Baby, you want an emerald, I'll get you an emerald." Like Jake could ever say no to Cougar. Please. "I'll get you anything at all as long as you stay with me." An emerald ring sounds nice. Hell, maybe he'll get emeralds set into the skull he's wearing now. That'll look ridiculous but also badass, and he'll think it's awesome.
He smiles, soft and open, and lifts his hand to settle it on Cougar's cheek for a moment. "Yeah. I am."
"We have six year old twins. I'm with you until they're at least adults," is Cougar's teasing reply, even if he's going to be with Jake much, much longer than that. He'd made that decision when they were both still Losers -- a quiet, knowing thing that he hadn't told anyone about. It just clicked in his head that he was going to be with that man.
"And good," he says emphatically, leaning in to kiss Jake again, a little harder. "I'd say let's have engaged sex, but the kids are awake in an hour."
"You have to wait until they're...forty-six to leave me, okay? I want another forty years with you." That'll put Cougar in his early nineties, so the chances of them actually living that long are hit-or-miss.
It had honestly taken him a while to realize Cougar had hitched his wagon to Jake's, not grasping the idea that when all was said and done, Cougar was going to follow him anywhere until it actually happened. And now here they are, living in suburban Massachusetts, with two little babies and a minivan. All they need is a dog to complete the picture.
He laughs a little hysterically. "I'm so fucking tired, I slept like shit. Let's nap, we can have sex later."
Cougar makes a humming noise, his eyes closed. "Will debate," he says, even if he plans to go nowhere except for right here in Jake's arms. There is no other place he wants to be, not at all. "Tired, too," he sighs and curls in closer to Jake, like he can somehow forget how little he's slept. "When they come screaming in, I want you to remember kids were your idea," he sleepily mumbles against the warm skin of Jake's pec.
"One of my best," he maintains, letting his arm drop back down again so he can tuck Cougar up in against his side and turns his head to tuck his nose into Cougar's hair.
Still, he's planning on being the one who takes care of the morning routine today, since Cougar stayed up for so much of the night, letting him sleep in longer than Jake. For now, though, he's just going to enjoy having his fiance curled up in his arms.
He gives a happy huff of breath at Jake's skin and lets his eyes fall shut. He's so tired and even though the news is enough to keep him awake, he sleeps like the dead. There are no night terrors, no bad dreams, and no screaming. At least, there's no screaming until the sun starts to filter in through the window and the kids wake up. The creaking bedroom door is the first indication that they're up, and then the bed dips with their combined weight.
"Daddy!" Jessica shouts. "Daddy, I want french toast, too!"
"And me!" Javi adds, shaking Jake, which in turn is shaking Cougar.
Jake groans like a broken pair of bellows when the bed dips with the combined weight of the twins, wanting to tell them to go away so they can sleep some more, but he can't do that any more. So, despite the fact that Cougar is a warm weight on his side, Jake makes himself sit up, wrapping his arms around his babies.
"Alright, french toast for everyone," he promises, hoisting them into his arms and sliding out of bed. "C'mon, gatitos, let's leave Papí to sleep some more, we'll make breakfast and he can come down to have some when he's more awake."
Luckily, they're still small enough that he can haul both of them around at the same time, and their stairwell is wide enough that he can go down only slightly sideways. Thankfully, most of the stuff he needs for making breakfast is still left out from Cougar's midnight cooking jag, which makes his job easier.
Cougar buries his face deeper into the pillow when Jake leaves and the light filters his view a little more, waking him up when he doesn't want to be awake. He tries to go back to sleep, but knowing his family is awake and downstairs makes that a nearly impossible thing. He stifles his yawn and sits up, reaching for a henley that he tugs on, along with his hat, heading downstairs to join them.
And he prays to God that Jake has coffee.
"Good morning, my kittens," he greets, voice a low rumble as he leans against the kitchen door.
The moment Jake realizes Cougar's come down, he takes a break from chopping strawberries so that he can pour Cougar some coffee and come over to hand it to him, taking a moment to steal a kiss while he's at it. "Good morning, corazoncito."
The kids brighten and grin at him. "Good morning, papí!" they chorus, sitting nicely at their chairs, waiting for Daddy to give them their breakfast.
Cougar softens and brightens when Jake uses that term of endearment on him, as he always does for such things. He rounds the kitchen to press kisses to Jessica and Javi's heads, ruffling their hair as he greets them each an individual good morning. Standing at their backs, he raises his eyebrow and silently asks Jake whether he's told them yet.
He can't imagine he has, he thinks as he sips his coffee, because his eardrums are still intact.
His accent's even pretty decent by this point in their lives.
As Cougar goes around to wish a good morning to his children, Jake takes the opportunity to slide only slightly-singed pieces of french toast onto the plates he got ready for the twins, topping them with chopped strawberries and syrup. He's not quite at the stuffed-french-toast-level his fiancé (hee!) is, but simple can be good too.
He shakes his head to Cougar's silent question, grinning to himself. He was planning on waiting until Cougar made appearance. And, just to prevent any escape attempts, Jake makes a beeline to Cougar's side once he gives the kids their breakfast, sliding his arm around Cougar's waist so he can't go anywhere.
"Gatitos," he starts, squeezing Cougar around the middle. "Your papí and I were talking last night, and we decided that it was kind of silly for us to be separate. I want to be an Alvarez too, just like you guys! It's no fair that I'm left out of the club. So, we decided we're going to get married after all."
There's a brief beat of silence, and then the subsequent shrieking probably alerts every dog in the neighborhood of the good news. Jake winces at the volume of yelling his two prefect little angels can produce, but doesn't flinch as they launch themselves out of their chairs to throw themselves at their fathers.
Cougar stays where he is, leaning into Jake's arms where the warmth is comfortable and the strength is evident in those beautiful arms. He winces heavily the minute that the news sinks in and they start to scream, prying away from Jake so he can catch Javi in his arms, who is babbling (unlike himself) into his Papi's ear about how they don't have to do this, but he's glad they are, and what kind of party are they having.
Javi switches to Spanish midway through, babbling just as much until the words run together and he buries his face in Cougar's neck.
"Do I get a dress?" Jessica demands, from where she's trying to scale Jake's arms even more.
Javier has always been his father's son, the more quiet and calm of the twins, and seeing them together with their dark heads bent close as Javi runs his mouth a mile a minute makes Jake's chest feel tight with emotion.
Kids. They have kids together.
Speaking of kids, Jessica is taking advantage of her father's distraction by attempting to climb him like a tree, so he bends to swoop her up into his arms and plant a big, tickling kiss to her cheek just to hear her squeal.
"Of course you get a dress!" he exclaims, bouncing her like he did when she was smaller. "We can't have our flower girl not wear a pretty dress!"
Cue more shrieking, this time right next to his ear.
Cougar winces and mutters a half-hidden plea in Pashto to keep the volumes low because he's got a headache from sleep deprivation and could use at least a moment or two of peace. He hefts Javi up on his hip a little more as he gets close enough to kiss Jake, a fond smile on his lips. "And tell Javi," he says. "What we need him to do."
He wants to give Jake this, too, the kids' happiness at being given tasks and a role in the wedding.
Jake shifts Jessica to one arm so he can slide the other around Cougar and their son when he gets close enough to kiss, holding him close to prolong the kiss until the kids start squirming and proclaiming that they're gross!
Reluctantly breaking away from Cougar, he turns his attention to Javier, who's looking up at him with big hazely-green eyes, waiting to hear what his role in this will be.
"Do you think you can carry the rings for us, buddy?" Jake asks, smoothing Javi's curls off his forehead and grinning as he starts nodding quickly before Jake's even removed his hand, resulting in Jake mussing up his curls even more until they frizz up around his head like a halo.
Cougar slips a little tongue in there because Jake is his fiancé and he can do whatever he likes, as far as he's concerned. He smiles down at Javi when their son looks up at him as if to check that this is what they really want, nodding encouragingly. "Yes," is Javi's soft, but excited reply when he does speak.
"Breakfast," Cougar says, settling Javi back down in his seat. "Neither of you were finished and I see fruit left."
"De verdad?" Cougar asks, genuinely concerned for a moment as he stares at Jake, hand over his heart in order to figure out if Jake really means it or if this is just more play. It's beating normally, which makes Cougar pry his hand away and run his fingers through Jake's hair. "Breathe," he coaxes.
He's only thirty-eight, he's too young for a heart attack. That doesn't stop his chest from feeling tight, or his heart from pounding in his chest, not helped at all by the steady pressure of Cougar's palm against his chest. Cougar's fingers in his hair, though, that's helpful, as is listening to the twins bicker in a pidgin of English and Spanish about who's going to do what in the wedding and what the decorations are going to be.
After managing to sync his breathing up with Cougar's for a minute or two, he feels a little steadier.
Cougar still eyes Jake warily, because he doesn't seem entirely okay just yet. He waits and keeps running his fingers through his hair, keeping a careful eye on the children because they're six and they have both Alvarez and Jensen genetics in them, which means when they want to be, they're plenty of trouble.
"You act panicky like that, you'll make me worry for your health," he warns.
"Sorry," he mumbles, letting his hands slide down to Cougar's waist, holding on for a moment before slipping around him so he can hold on properly. "I'm fine, my heart's fine, there's nothing wrong with me."
Apart from the obvious, obviously.
He ducks to press his face into Cougar's shoulder, quickly reaching up to yank off his glasses so he can get as close as possible, even though that makes it difficult for Cougar to play with his hair. He just needs to be close, that's all, to feel the warmth of Cougar's neck against his face, his hair tickling his ears as it slips free of its ponytail. "Cougs, I... How is this our life? The house, and the car, and the kids, god. We have children, Cougar. And we're getting married. I just..."
He fists his hands in the back of Cougar's shirt, clutching at him as he switches to Pashto so the kids can't eavesdrop. "I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and I'll be back in that fucking jungle again, bleeding everywhere, and this will have all been a dream."
Cougar raises his brow when Jake makes such an insistence, because it's not like Jake is normal, but he's probably right and he's fine. It's just that he's overwhelmed and dealing with a lot of good things right now. For them, good things are usually a prelude to an explosion, in his experience.
He holds on to Jake, rubbing his back as he soothes him with a light rock back and forward, trying not to let his distress bleed where the kids can see. "It's not. We've suffered enough. This is the reward for a very hard life." He kisses Jake's temple. "Besides, you forget all the nights awake with screaming infants. The repairs that took months. The car costing thousands."
"That wasn't even bad, though," he protests, feeling the bizarre need to cling to his ridiculous belief that this isn't happening. He doesn't get this many good things at once, something bad has to happen to balance it all out.
He's not trembling, but he is tense; that is, until he feels little hands clutch the hem of his shirt and tug, a small voice piping up, "Daddy?"
Sliding his glasses back on his face, he bends to pick up Javi and kisses his cheek. "I'm finished, Daddy," he says, and sure enough, his plate is clean.
"Good job, buddy," he says, giving him another kiss before setting him back on the floor. "Can you and your sister go get dressed for me? I'll take you to school this morning but only if you two dress yourselves." It's a guarantee that they'll wind up wearing something ridiculous and eye-wateringly bright — they are definitely his kids — but it will also give him and Cougar another few minutes alone, and he wants that very much.
Cougar raises his brow, thinking that it had been plenty bad for him, who had discovered a new form of torture in the way of two shrieking infants who wouldn't quiet down for anything. After that, he knows time has eased that pain, but he still remembers it. He gives the twins an encouraging smile and watches them wander off, already rattling on about what clothes they think they'll wear.
It gives him time to cup Jake's cheek, giving his partner a worried look. "Querido, it's not fake."
Jake shakes his head, a small smile curling his mouth. "I know," he insists, leaning into the touch of Cougar's hands on his face. "And even if it were, I love it too much to wake up. So I guess you're stuck with me."
It's easy enough to lean forward and give him a gentle kiss before stepping away, even if he wants to just curl himself around Cougar the way they used to and hang on for dear life.
"I have to get dressed so I don't cause a riot in the kiss and ride. You should go back to sleep."
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He smiles, soft and open, and lifts his hand to settle it on Cougar's cheek for a moment. "Yeah. I am."
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"And good," he says emphatically, leaning in to kiss Jake again, a little harder. "I'd say let's have engaged sex, but the kids are awake in an hour."
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It had honestly taken him a while to realize Cougar had hitched his wagon to Jake's, not grasping the idea that when all was said and done, Cougar was going to follow him anywhere until it actually happened. And now here they are, living in suburban Massachusetts, with two little babies and a minivan. All they need is a dog to complete the picture.
He laughs a little hysterically. "I'm so fucking tired, I slept like shit. Let's nap, we can have sex later."
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Still, he's planning on being the one who takes care of the morning routine today, since Cougar stayed up for so much of the night, letting him sleep in longer than Jake. For now, though, he's just going to enjoy having his fiance curled up in his arms.
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"Daddy!" Jessica shouts. "Daddy, I want french toast, too!"
"And me!" Javi adds, shaking Jake, which in turn is shaking Cougar.
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"Alright, french toast for everyone," he promises, hoisting them into his arms and sliding out of bed. "C'mon, gatitos, let's leave Papí to sleep some more, we'll make breakfast and he can come down to have some when he's more awake."
Luckily, they're still small enough that he can haul both of them around at the same time, and their stairwell is wide enough that he can go down only slightly sideways. Thankfully, most of the stuff he needs for making breakfast is still left out from Cougar's midnight cooking jag, which makes his job easier.
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And he prays to God that Jake has coffee.
"Good morning, my kittens," he greets, voice a low rumble as he leans against the kitchen door.
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The kids brighten and grin at him. "Good morning, papí!" they chorus, sitting nicely at their chairs, waiting for Daddy to give them their breakfast.
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He can't imagine he has, he thinks as he sips his coffee, because his eardrums are still intact.
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As Cougar goes around to wish a good morning to his children, Jake takes the opportunity to slide only slightly-singed pieces of french toast onto the plates he got ready for the twins, topping them with chopped strawberries and syrup. He's not quite at the stuffed-french-toast-level his fiancé (hee!) is, but simple can be good too.
He shakes his head to Cougar's silent question, grinning to himself. He was planning on waiting until Cougar made appearance. And, just to prevent any escape attempts, Jake makes a beeline to Cougar's side once he gives the kids their breakfast, sliding his arm around Cougar's waist so he can't go anywhere.
"Gatitos," he starts, squeezing Cougar around the middle. "Your papí and I were talking last night, and we decided that it was kind of silly for us to be separate. I want to be an Alvarez too, just like you guys! It's no fair that I'm left out of the club. So, we decided we're going to get married after all."
There's a brief beat of silence, and then the subsequent shrieking probably alerts every dog in the neighborhood of the good news. Jake winces at the volume of yelling his two prefect little angels can produce, but doesn't flinch as they launch themselves out of their chairs to throw themselves at their fathers.
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Javi switches to Spanish midway through, babbling just as much until the words run together and he buries his face in Cougar's neck.
"Do I get a dress?" Jessica demands, from where she's trying to scale Jake's arms even more.
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Kids. They have kids together.
Speaking of kids, Jessica is taking advantage of her father's distraction by attempting to climb him like a tree, so he bends to swoop her up into his arms and plant a big, tickling kiss to her cheek just to hear her squeal.
"Of course you get a dress!" he exclaims, bouncing her like he did when she was smaller. "We can't have our flower girl not wear a pretty dress!"
Cue more shrieking, this time right next to his ear.
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He wants to give Jake this, too, the kids' happiness at being given tasks and a role in the wedding.
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Reluctantly breaking away from Cougar, he turns his attention to Javier, who's looking up at him with big hazely-green eyes, waiting to hear what his role in this will be.
"Do you think you can carry the rings for us, buddy?" Jake asks, smoothing Javi's curls off his forehead and grinning as he starts nodding quickly before Jake's even removed his hand, resulting in Jake mussing up his curls even more until they frizz up around his head like a halo.
His heart hurts.
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"Breakfast," Cougar says, settling Javi back down in his seat. "Neither of you were finished and I see fruit left."
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Jake immediately reaches for Cougar, clutching at his shirt and bending slightly to press his forehead to his.
"Fu-fudge I think I'm having a heart attack," he breathes, clinging.
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"Or you will faint."
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After managing to sync his breathing up with Cougar's for a minute or two, he feels a little steadier.
"Okay, I'm okay."
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"You act panicky like that, you'll make me worry for your health," he warns.
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Apart from the obvious, obviously.
He ducks to press his face into Cougar's shoulder, quickly reaching up to yank off his glasses so he can get as close as possible, even though that makes it difficult for Cougar to play with his hair. He just needs to be close, that's all, to feel the warmth of Cougar's neck against his face, his hair tickling his ears as it slips free of its ponytail. "Cougs, I... How is this our life? The house, and the car, and the kids, god. We have children, Cougar. And we're getting married. I just..."
He fists his hands in the back of Cougar's shirt, clutching at him as he switches to Pashto so the kids can't eavesdrop. "I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and I'll be back in that fucking jungle again, bleeding everywhere, and this will have all been a dream."
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He holds on to Jake, rubbing his back as he soothes him with a light rock back and forward, trying not to let his distress bleed where the kids can see. "It's not. We've suffered enough. This is the reward for a very hard life." He kisses Jake's temple. "Besides, you forget all the nights awake with screaming infants. The repairs that took months. The car costing thousands."
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He's not trembling, but he is tense; that is, until he feels little hands clutch the hem of his shirt and tug, a small voice piping up, "Daddy?"
Sliding his glasses back on his face, he bends to pick up Javi and kisses his cheek. "I'm finished, Daddy," he says, and sure enough, his plate is clean.
"Good job, buddy," he says, giving him another kiss before setting him back on the floor. "Can you and your sister go get dressed for me? I'll take you to school this morning but only if you two dress yourselves." It's a guarantee that they'll wind up wearing something ridiculous and eye-wateringly bright — they are definitely his kids — but it will also give him and Cougar another few minutes alone, and he wants that very much.
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It gives him time to cup Jake's cheek, giving his partner a worried look. "Querido, it's not fake."
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It's easy enough to lean forward and give him a gentle kiss before stepping away, even if he wants to just curl himself around Cougar the way they used to and hang on for dear life.
"I have to get dressed so I don't cause a riot in the kiss and ride. You should go back to sleep."
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