igotacrossbow: (Default)
Cpl. Jake Jensen ([personal profile] igotacrossbow) wrote2016-06-27 05:13 pm
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open rp post
you know the drill
thecatinahat: (lips open)

[personal profile] thecatinahat 2016-07-09 02:44 pm (UTC)(link)
"You're not fine," Cougar points out, half miserable himself to feel the tension underneath his fingers and how Jake sounds like he's going to shout or scream at him if he gives him the chance. "Carino," he murmurs, pushing in to kiss his neck. "Why didn't you say something?" he asks in English, because he needs to know. "I didn't know, Jake."
thecatinahat: (look up)

[personal profile] thecatinahat 2016-07-09 02:53 pm (UTC)(link)
"The kids ask why we're not married and now, after we talk for two minutes, you look like you're going to cry," Cougar says, concern radiating from his every pore. "Jake," he says, trying to pry him back so they can do this face to face. Cougar likes to catalogue every eye twitch and motion. He wants Jake to read the honesty on his face. "It is important," he insists. "So talk to me. You talk about everything else, why not this?" he demands, voice already rough from how much use he's putting into it.
thecatinahat: (two losers)

[personal profile] thecatinahat 2016-07-09 03:04 pm (UTC)(link)
"No," is his stubborn, instant reply. "It's not just about what I want," he reminds Jake. They might not be married on paper, but in Cougar's heart, they have everything that the sacrament means to represent. Cougar lives those vows every day and it means compromise and listening and if Jake wants this, then he is supposed to listen and provide.

"I always thought we're partners," he says. "With different paperwork. Why need marriage, but if it means something to you, then I have failed you in not realizing, mi amor."
thecatinahat: (revenge in his eyes)

[personal profile] thecatinahat 2016-07-09 03:17 pm (UTC)(link)
He's never broken Jake like this before.

Well, once, but that had been when they had found out they were having twins and any reactions to that news are justified, he thinks. Cursing under his breath, he eases back from Jake like he's been burned, his hands and lips to himself as he wonders what the hell he's supposed to do. He doesn't understand what Jake wants and Jake won't talk to him. He pushes himself from the bed and heads into the hall because he needs to pace and think.

Thinking turns to a phone call, waking Jake's sister late and murmuring the issue, begging for advice on what he can do. When even she admits that he has to be patient, Cougar goes to the kitchen. He can't be too loud or he'll wake the kids, but he starts to slice ingredients until he knows what he's doing. It's breakfast and he works on making the stuffed french toast with strawberries and bananas, trying to think as he works.

Years and years, but he still doesn't know what to do when Jake goes so quiet. And all of this, all because someone wondered why they weren't married. Why is it such a big deal that they don't, Cougar wonders? Maybe he's been too stubborn and it is all his fault.
thecatinahat: (line up the shot)

[personal profile] thecatinahat 2016-07-09 03:31 pm (UTC)(link)
It takes hours for him to finish. Long enough that he texts one of his employees at the range to say he won't be in, in the morning. He cites 'marital strife' because at this hour, with how tired he is, it seems funny. With that done, he brings the tray of sweets upstairs, syrup and sugar coating the stuffed french toast as he sneaks past the twins' bedroom to nudge back in to the bedroom.

He's happy to see Jake asleep, but still frustrated. When he wakes, he won't know what to say. So instead, he sets the food on the bedside table and curls up in the chair in the corner with his knee drawn into his chest. He regulates his breathing until he's barely making a noise, then he waits.
thecatinahat: (unhappy)

[personal profile] thecatinahat 2016-07-09 03:40 pm (UTC)(link)
"Breakfast," is all he says evenly, still not moving as he takes stock in the situation. He's still wondering what to do, thinking of Julie's words to be patient, but he's not good at patient. He tugs at Jake's too big t-shirt, pulling it off when he sees the syrup stain, thinking that if nothing else, he will make sure Jake knows how much Cougar loves him.

He reaches for a tank top, sliding into it before turning it into a smooth motion, forearms on his knees. "I want to talk about what you want. What you really want, Jake. Not what you think I do."
thecatinahat: (head down)

[personal profile] thecatinahat 2016-07-09 03:50 pm (UTC)(link)
"I called in, shop won't open today," he says. "Once kids are at school, we can sleep," he says. He hates that they went to bed upset, but now there's a chance to fix it. Cougar shifts from the chair to the edge of the bed, listening to the old creaks as he settles down and gets comfortable. "Eat," he insists. "You're always hungry when you wake up."
thecatinahat: (revenge in his eyes)

[personal profile] thecatinahat 2016-07-09 03:59 pm (UTC)(link)
He shakes his head, not hungry. He doesn't think he'll have an appetite until they've settled this, because he's gone into that zone he occupies when there's a target on the horizon and something needs to be done about it. He sits, cross-legged, and leans forward to wipe a stray bit of syrup from off Jake's cheek, sucking it between his lips as he watches him tenderly.

"I hate when I make you unhappy," he says.
thecatinahat: (unhappy)

[personal profile] thecatinahat 2016-07-09 04:09 pm (UTC)(link)
"I made you unhappy because I didn't talk, early on," Cougar says, knowing that this is on him. It's his fault that Jake is unhappy and he's let ten years of a relationship and more years of friendship sit there, not knowing what Jake wanted. What else has he been missing? "And now, now I don't know these things about you. Please," he begs. "Please give me a chance to redo it."
thecatinahat: (look up)

[personal profile] thecatinahat 2016-07-09 04:19 pm (UTC)(link)
"You spent the whole night unhappy because you think I don't think marriage to you is important," Cougar says. "You let the children take my name. I never stopped to ask if you wanted my name, too. Or if you wanted anything more." He leans forward and presses a kiss to Jake's lips, cupping his face. "You want to get married. You still want to?"
thecatinahat: (lips open)

[personal profile] thecatinahat 2016-07-09 04:27 pm (UTC)(link)
"The way you're acting says that to you, it's a very big deal," Cougar points out, stroking his cheek and leaning in a little more, shifting the breakfast tray aside because this is a serious thing and he wants Jake to take it that way. "Why do you think marriage isn't important to me? Because of what I said to the kids?"

"Jake, if something is important to you, you tell me. It makes it important to me."
thecatinahat: (faceless)

[personal profile] thecatinahat 2016-07-09 10:27 pm (UTC)(link)
"I'm not going to walk out the door just because you want to have a discussion about marriage," Cougar replies, trying to keep the mirth from off his face, but it's a difficult thing when he wonders how they're fighting about something that Cougar has no strong opinion of, so much as no real need for it. It doesn't mean he's against it. At least, not the way he'd been against being someone's boyfriend.

"Tell me what you want. Okay? That's the only way I can know. I can read your mind sometimes, but sometimes..." He makes a side to side gesture, like it's a bit difficult.
thecatinahat: (lips open)

[personal profile] thecatinahat 2016-07-09 10:44 pm (UTC)(link)
The more Jake talks, the more Cougar smiles. It's not because he wants to make fun of him or tease him, he's smiling because Jake is asking for something that he can give him and it makes him smile with all that brimming love he holds for the man sitting beside him. Joint bank accounts and rings and papers mean little to Cougar, but lots to Jake. And so it's not something he would ever ask for, himself, but he loves Jake and wants to make him happy. This? This would make him happy.

"I had children with you, Jacob," Cougar patiently reminds him. "I was not running, not for a second, when they were born. I will not run for this."

"If it's important to you, then, yes, we do it."

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