igotacrossbow | open post

Jake likes to think that he's not being totally ridiculous about this, even though it sort of feels like he might be. Cougar had been vehemently opposed to being referred to as Jake's boyfriend, which had meant they wound up barely speaking to each other for almost a week before Jake cracked first and decided he'd rather have Cougar in his life whatever way he could instead of forcing the issue and maybe pushing him away.

So he's never forced the issue again, which is what brought them to this point.

"I want... I want to be official. Like, official, official. I want rings, and joint bank accounts, and I know it's stupid, okay, I know it's stupid and meaningless in the grand scheme of things and no, we don't need it because this," he gestures between the two of them, "is real and that's what's important but still. But we nearly broke up because I called you my boyfriend without discussing it with you first, and I just though that this would be like that but worse because you're Catholic and the Church doesn't allow gay marriage, and it's a fucking miracle that I have this," the hand shifts to make a gesture that's supposed to encapsulate the whole house, their whole lives, "as it stands and I was afraid to push my luck."

The more Jake talks, the more Cougar smiles. It's not because he wants to make fun of him or tease him, he's smiling because Jake is asking for something that he can give him and it makes him smile with all that brimming love he holds for the man sitting beside him. Joint bank accounts and rings and papers mean little to Cougar, but lots to Jake. And so it's not something he would ever ask for, himself, but he loves Jake and wants to make him happy. This? This would make him happy.

"I had children with you, Jacob," Cougar patiently reminds him. "I was not running, not for a second, when they were born. I will not run for this."

"If it's important to you, then, yes, we do it."

Jake doesn't see Cougar's smile at first because he's resolutely not making eye contact, staring down at his lap and wishing he still had his breakfast there so he could do something with his hands.

"Well, technically you had children with my sister," he points out, smiling crookedly, nervously, as he glances up to look at Cougar through his lashes. "I wasn't really involved in that."

Letting out a shaky sigh, he lifts his head a little more so he's not peering up at Cougar so much as actually looking at him. "Yeah?"

"If you could be involved, I would have had them with you," Cougar points out, seeing as he would have happily cut everyone else out of the picture if that had been a possibility. He waits until he has Jake's eye contact and smiles wryly, using Jake's knees to leverage himself to his feet.

"Yes," he promises, sinking down to his knee with care and ease. It's 4 in the morning and they're both groggy, but he knows that this is the right decision to keep his relationship strong. And, of course, the kids will love it. "Jacob Jensen. Marry me." Not a question. It's half a demanded order he expects fulfilled.

Watching Cougar get up off the bed has him feeling nervous in a way he hasn't felt in a very long time, butterflies fluttering in his stomach as Cougar lowers himself to the floor beside the bed.

To keep himself from doing something embarrassing like crying, he scoffs. "You're so unromantic, Cougs," he accuses, his fingers twisting in the blankets covering his knees. "But yeah, I guess I could marry you. If you insist."

"Oh, if I insist now?" he echoes, leaning up and pushing Jake back until he's horizontal on the bed so Cougar can climb overtop him. "Me haces trabajar para ello primero, ahora se piensa que podría casarse conmigo." The Spanish is fast and fluent, his own nerves intermingling as he grins, a little excited himself.

"No party," he does say. "No big party, at least."

He laughs as Cougar crawls up over him, looking sexy and determined (and a little sleep-deprived). "Well, that didn't really sound like a question," he protests, but makes no move to prevent him from pushing him back against the pillows. "Y se lo merece. Pensé que diría que no." His Spanish is still halting and a little awkward, but saying it in his bad Spanish makes it less real than saying it in English.

"We don't have enough friends for a big party," he points out, quite reasonably. "Oh shit. The kids are going to lose their minds."

Cougar gives a growl because if Jensen had put him through all this and then said no, he really might have snapped and lost his mind. He slides his fingers over Jake's forearms and pushes his wrists above his head to pin them in place, not letting go. "Yes, they are," he agrees.

"Which is why you're telling them," he says, as sweetly as he can. "Daddy."

They've been civilians for a long time and both of them are a little softer than they used to be, but Jake could still easily break the hold Cougar has on his wrists. Of course, he absolutely doesn't, letting him pin his hands down to the bed and sighing as he wriggles beneath him.

He pouts. "You, sir, are mean to me."

"You want to be married, you tell the children," Cougar says, leaning back a little so he can reach for the chain on his neck, prying off the skull ring that adorns it. He presses a kiss to it with his lips and leans forward over Jake's body to slide it onto his ring finger, though it's far from a perfect fit.

"And you will wait until I find earplugs."

"Yeah, I do wanna be married," he breathes, almost wondering, like he can't quite believe this is happening to him. That Cougar would want to chain himself to someone like Jake in every way that matters, in a way that's recognized by every state in the country.

He clenches his fist and feels the unfamiliar heavy weight of Cougar's ridiculous skull ring, feeling his heart beat an unsteady tattoo in his chest.

"I love you, Carlos."

Cougar thinks nothing will be different for him, but he also knows that Jake will be much happier for it. He leans down and kisses Jake full on the lips, cupping his cheeks as hard as he can before rolling off to the side and lying there, nose to nose with Jake, stroking bits of hair back. "Next time, talk to me," he insists. "About anything."

Objectively, nothing is going to be that different. Except that it will, and he'll know that it'll be different, and that's what's important right now. He happily returns Cougar's kiss, his hands dropping to rest on his shoulders, and doesn't protest when he rolls to the side even though he wants to.

"Yeah, okay," he promises, smiling a little sheepishly. "I was just scared, I'm sorry."

"I understand being scared, but I love you too much to lose this," Cougar says, his eyes half-lidded and sleepy. He's been up all day and now almost all night and it's been an emotional roller coaster. They might be engaged now, but there is much to do and much to tell and he doesn't know where to even start. "Also," he says. "You owe me a ring."

He shifts to let Cougar get comfortable beside him, draping one arm over his side to keep him close and keep him warm.

"I'll get you a ring, you big baby," he grumbles, biting back a stupid grin. "And you better not have rolled into my breakfast, okay, I'm still planning on finishing that."

"Emerald," is what he says, arching a brow to challenge Jake to say no to him. If he's going to get a ring out of this, then he wants a proper and good ring, something that he can enjoy. He thinks a nice gold ring with an emerald heavily set will look good. "It's on the table," he promises, gesturing to the tray. "You can eat it later."

"Are you happy?" he asks, knowing the answer, but wanting to ask.

"Baby, you want an emerald, I'll get you an emerald." Like Jake could ever say no to Cougar. Please. "I'll get you anything at all as long as you stay with me." An emerald ring sounds nice. Hell, maybe he'll get emeralds set into the skull he's wearing now. That'll look ridiculous but also badass, and he'll think it's awesome.

He smiles, soft and open, and lifts his hand to settle it on Cougar's cheek for a moment. "Yeah. I am."

"We have six year old twins. I'm with you until they're at least adults," is Cougar's teasing reply, even if he's going to be with Jake much, much longer than that. He'd made that decision when they were both still Losers -- a quiet, knowing thing that he hadn't told anyone about. It just clicked in his head that he was going to be with that man.

"And good," he says emphatically, leaning in to kiss Jake again, a little harder. "I'd say let's have engaged sex, but the kids are awake in an hour."

"You have to wait until they're...forty-six to leave me, okay? I want another forty years with you." That'll put Cougar in his early nineties, so the chances of them actually living that long are hit-or-miss.

It had honestly taken him a while to realize Cougar had hitched his wagon to Jake's, not grasping the idea that when all was said and done, Cougar was going to follow him anywhere until it actually happened. And now here they are, living in suburban Massachusetts, with two little babies and a minivan. All they need is a dog to complete the picture.

He laughs a little hysterically. "I'm so fucking tired, I slept like shit. Let's nap, we can have sex later."

Cougar makes a humming noise, his eyes closed. "Will debate," he says, even if he plans to go nowhere except for right here in Jake's arms. There is no other place he wants to be, not at all. "Tired, too," he sighs and curls in closer to Jake, like he can somehow forget how little he's slept. "When they come screaming in, I want you to remember kids were your idea," he sleepily mumbles against the warm skin of Jake's pec.

"One of my best," he maintains, letting his arm drop back down again so he can tuck Cougar up in against his side and turns his head to tuck his nose into Cougar's hair.

Still, he's planning on being the one who takes care of the morning routine today, since Cougar stayed up for so much of the night, letting him sleep in longer than Jake. For now, though, he's just going to enjoy having his fiance curled up in his arms.

He gives a happy huff of breath at Jake's skin and lets his eyes fall shut. He's so tired and even though the news is enough to keep him awake, he sleeps like the dead. There are no night terrors, no bad dreams, and no screaming. At least, there's no screaming until the sun starts to filter in through the window and the kids wake up. The creaking bedroom door is the first indication that they're up, and then the bed dips with their combined weight.

"Daddy!" Jessica shouts. "Daddy, I want french toast, too!"

"And me!" Javi adds, shaking Jake, which in turn is shaking Cougar.

Jake groans like a broken pair of bellows when the bed dips with the combined weight of the twins, wanting to tell them to go away so they can sleep some more, but he can't do that any more. So, despite the fact that Cougar is a warm weight on his side, Jake makes himself sit up, wrapping his arms around his babies.

"Alright, french toast for everyone," he promises, hoisting them into his arms and sliding out of bed. "C'mon, gatitos, let's leave Papí to sleep some more, we'll make breakfast and he can come down to have some when he's more awake."

Luckily, they're still small enough that he can haul both of them around at the same time, and their stairwell is wide enough that he can go down only slightly sideways. Thankfully, most of the stuff he needs for making breakfast is still left out from Cougar's midnight cooking jag, which makes his job easier.

Cougar buries his face deeper into the pillow when Jake leaves and the light filters his view a little more, waking him up when he doesn't want to be awake. He tries to go back to sleep, but knowing his family is awake and downstairs makes that a nearly impossible thing. He stifles his yawn and sits up, reaching for a henley that he tugs on, along with his hat, heading downstairs to join them.

And he prays to God that Jake has coffee.

"Good morning, my kittens," he greets, voice a low rumble as he leans against the kitchen door.

The moment Jake realizes Cougar's come down, he takes a break from chopping strawberries so that he can pour Cougar some coffee and come over to hand it to him, taking a moment to steal a kiss while he's at it. "Good morning, corazoncito."

The kids brighten and grin at him. "Good morning, papí!" they chorus, sitting nicely at their chairs, waiting for Daddy to give them their breakfast.

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