"De verdad?" Cougar asks, genuinely concerned for a moment as he stares at Jake, hand over his heart in order to figure out if Jake really means it or if this is just more play. It's beating normally, which makes Cougar pry his hand away and run his fingers through Jake's hair. "Breathe," he coaxes.
He's only thirty-eight, he's too young for a heart attack. That doesn't stop his chest from feeling tight, or his heart from pounding in his chest, not helped at all by the steady pressure of Cougar's palm against his chest. Cougar's fingers in his hair, though, that's helpful, as is listening to the twins bicker in a pidgin of English and Spanish about who's going to do what in the wedding and what the decorations are going to be.
After managing to sync his breathing up with Cougar's for a minute or two, he feels a little steadier.
Cougar still eyes Jake warily, because he doesn't seem entirely okay just yet. He waits and keeps running his fingers through his hair, keeping a careful eye on the children because they're six and they have both Alvarez and Jensen genetics in them, which means when they want to be, they're plenty of trouble.
"You act panicky like that, you'll make me worry for your health," he warns.
"Sorry," he mumbles, letting his hands slide down to Cougar's waist, holding on for a moment before slipping around him so he can hold on properly. "I'm fine, my heart's fine, there's nothing wrong with me."
Apart from the obvious, obviously.
He ducks to press his face into Cougar's shoulder, quickly reaching up to yank off his glasses so he can get as close as possible, even though that makes it difficult for Cougar to play with his hair. He just needs to be close, that's all, to feel the warmth of Cougar's neck against his face, his hair tickling his ears as it slips free of its ponytail. "Cougs, I... How is this our life? The house, and the car, and the kids, god. We have children, Cougar. And we're getting married. I just..."
He fists his hands in the back of Cougar's shirt, clutching at him as he switches to Pashto so the kids can't eavesdrop. "I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and I'll be back in that fucking jungle again, bleeding everywhere, and this will have all been a dream."
Cougar raises his brow when Jake makes such an insistence, because it's not like Jake is normal, but he's probably right and he's fine. It's just that he's overwhelmed and dealing with a lot of good things right now. For them, good things are usually a prelude to an explosion, in his experience.
He holds on to Jake, rubbing his back as he soothes him with a light rock back and forward, trying not to let his distress bleed where the kids can see. "It's not. We've suffered enough. This is the reward for a very hard life." He kisses Jake's temple. "Besides, you forget all the nights awake with screaming infants. The repairs that took months. The car costing thousands."
"That wasn't even bad, though," he protests, feeling the bizarre need to cling to his ridiculous belief that this isn't happening. He doesn't get this many good things at once, something bad has to happen to balance it all out.
He's not trembling, but he is tense; that is, until he feels little hands clutch the hem of his shirt and tug, a small voice piping up, "Daddy?"
Sliding his glasses back on his face, he bends to pick up Javi and kisses his cheek. "I'm finished, Daddy," he says, and sure enough, his plate is clean.
"Good job, buddy," he says, giving him another kiss before setting him back on the floor. "Can you and your sister go get dressed for me? I'll take you to school this morning but only if you two dress yourselves." It's a guarantee that they'll wind up wearing something ridiculous and eye-wateringly bright — they are definitely his kids — but it will also give him and Cougar another few minutes alone, and he wants that very much.
Cougar raises his brow, thinking that it had been plenty bad for him, who had discovered a new form of torture in the way of two shrieking infants who wouldn't quiet down for anything. After that, he knows time has eased that pain, but he still remembers it. He gives the twins an encouraging smile and watches them wander off, already rattling on about what clothes they think they'll wear.
It gives him time to cup Jake's cheek, giving his partner a worried look. "Querido, it's not fake."
Jake shakes his head, a small smile curling his mouth. "I know," he insists, leaning into the touch of Cougar's hands on his face. "And even if it were, I love it too much to wake up. So I guess you're stuck with me."
It's easy enough to lean forward and give him a gentle kiss before stepping away, even if he wants to just curl himself around Cougar the way they used to and hang on for dear life.
"I have to get dressed so I don't cause a riot in the kiss and ride. You should go back to sleep."
"I think you look perfect," Cougar says with the smirk that comes when he knows exactly what Jensen would do if he went to the kiss and ride looking like he does. He licks his lips and lets his gaze roam hungrily over Jake's body, sliding his palm down Jake's shirt to twine and yank him in closer, grazing his teeth over Jake's earlobe so he can get close enough to whisper.
"If you come back in the next thirty minutes, I will nap and then you can wake me up with a blowjob."
"You're only saying that because you can see my ass through the many holes in these shorts," he accuses, but definitely doesn't resist the yank that pulls him in closer. Nor does he try to suppress the shiver that crawls down his back when Cougar bites his earlobe and then whispers.
"And if I'm late?" Jake is planning on waking up Cougar with a blowjob regardless, but he's curious what Cougar will say.
"Then I have to fuck you," Cougar replies, like it would be a terrible shame for him to do that. He kisses the warm space just behind Jake's ear, reaching down to goose his ass before the kids can come back. One more for good luck and he's heading upstairs to wish the kids good luck at school, kissing their cheeks and telling them that they can tell anyone they want about the wedding, even if none of them will likely to get to attend.
Once he's done with that, he collapses face-first on Jake's pillow, inhaling the smell of him deeply before he lets his exhaustion catch up to him.
It's so tempting for him to follow Cougar back upstairs and climb into bed with him, but the kids come thundering down the stairs at that exact moment, and he's sucked into the minutiae of parenthood. Once he gets their lunch boxes in their hands and their backpacks on their backs, he ushers both kids out the door, only remembering when he's at the door to grab a pair of shorts off the clean laundry pile on the cough to cover up so he doesn't cause a scene.
It's only once he's got both kids in their car seats and has put the van in reverse that he realizes that he's wearing a pair of American flag-print board shorts. Cougar will laugh at him when he gets home.
He and the kids scream their way through three of Queen's Greatest Hits on their way to school — it's close to their home, which is great, just about in between them and Julie, which makes pickups easy for everyone involved — and this time Jake does get out of the van when he pulls up to school so the kids can give him one last hug and kiss before they race towards the door. The teacher on door duty grins at him and waves, clearly enjoying his get-up, but if she expects Jake to be embarrassed, she's wrong. He grins back, waving at her and his kids, before loping back towards the van so he can get home in time to wake up Cougar during his self-imposed window of time.
He doesn't break any speed limits getting home, but it's close. By the time he parks and lets himself back in the front door, he's pushing twenty-nine minutes. Taking the stairs three at a time means he manages to get into the bedroom just before the half hour mark.
His hands slide up Cougar's thighs just as thirty minutes tick by, fingers reaching for his waist band.
He has been in the middle of a very nice dream about Jake and suntanning in the backyard with nothing on. He's roused from it by curious fingers at his waist and Cougar slides from a deep sleep to one closer to the surface, wondering just what the other parents thought at drop-off of Jake with his sunny, too-bright smiles, and of the kids with their ridiculous enthusiasm.
He smiles, drowsily, and turns so he's face-up in bed. "I was having a very nice dream," he shares, his eyes still closed. "Do you think you can beat it?"
God, sometimes he looks at this man, and his heart skips a beat. Even with grey starting to encroach in his hair and beard, Cougar is so beautiful.
"I'll do my best," he promises, winkling Cougar's sleep pants down just enough that he can dip his hand inside and carefully pull his cock free. He's soft in his hand, vulnerable, and Jake is gentle as he ducks his head down and presses a soft kiss to the head just barely peeking out of the foreskin.
Cougar was the first man Jake ever actually slept with, and it was a surprise for him to realize that he likes doing this way more than he thought he would, drawing his flaccid cock into his mouth and feeling him harden against his tongue. Now that they have kids, the times they have sex are often fast and hurried, and he doesn't get to indulge in enjoying himself as much as he'd like. This morning, he can, and he takes advantage of that with gusto, humming happily to himself as he draws Cougar deeper and deeper into his mouth.
If ever they deserve unhurried, lazy, wonderful sex, it's now with the kids being at school and with the shooting range all closed up for the day with no one expecting them. He shifts back onto the bed, shoulders rubbing back and forth as he lets Jake take him deeply, already letting out soft rumbles of Spanish praises to tell Jake how very good he's doing and how much Cougar loves him.
Like this, the whole world falls away and all that matters is Jake, down below, in the most wonderful place ever. "That's it," he coaxes. "Such a good boy, novio. So good."
Maybe once upon a time, the desperate need Jake has for positive reinforcement might have embarrassed him. But after more than fifteen years of knowing each other, what secrets they might have are negligible, and one as obvious as this hasn't been a secret for a very long time.
Cougar's praise draws another hum from Jake's throat, something high and keening as he settles down between Cougar's legs on the bed, his hands flexing on his thighs. Pulling away is the last thing on his mind, but needs to correct Cougar's mistake. "No, babe. Prometido." He can't help the ridiculous grin that splits his face for a moment, but then he remembers that he's got a job to do , and ducks his head back down to get back to business.
Cougar huffs and refrains from lecturing Jake about the fact that he knows what he's saying and novio can be boyfriend and partner just as much as it can be the husband that he's going to become, one day. He shakes his head, but lifts his forearm to cover his forehead as he relaxes, indulging in the second best way to wake up in the mornings.
(The first, of course, being all curled in a pile with the children while the rain outside gives them no reason to be up, with breakfast hot and ready and waiting)
It seems that Cougar is settling in for the long haul, which means Jake can turn all his attention to the task at hand. They know each other well enough to be able to push and prod and move these moments along quickly, touching each other in just the right way to get off as fast as possible, but considering how little sleep they're both running on right now, fast is definitely not on the menu. Not to mention they have the whole day stretching out in front of them, a whole day without the kids.
Jake adores his kids, obviously, but it is kind of nice to have some uninterrupted adult time.
He hums happily to himself as Cougar thickens up against his tongue, gently bobbing his head as his hands knead Cougar's thighs.
With the money from the Max situation, he could retire. If not for the fact that he knows he'd go mad with boredom, he thinks that mornings like this are the best convincer as to why he should just sell the range and be a man of leisure, but only if Jake is willing to do this every day. He's still drowsy, knows he'll have to sleep that off after, but that's after.
And to think, Jake hadn't had the first idea on how to do this, all those years ago. How far they've come. "Jake," he gets out, a gasped sound.
They both needs jobs to keep them busy, but sometimes it sure is nice to think about just quitting it all and lounging around all day with nothing to do. Nothing but each other, of course. But even on his 'days off,' Jake winds up working, and he's sure that's going to happen today, at some point. Not right now. Right now he's busy with other things.
He all but purrs when Cougar gasps out his nape, letting his tongue flick beneath the delicate head as a reward, teasing and light little touches before he switches to proper suction again and pushes himself down.
Cougar is usually good at holding out, being stoic and calm, but he's tired and when he's tired, he says and does things because there are walls that have come crashing down. It's why he's swearing in steady Spanish under his breath, pleading and insisting on getting more. It's the most incredible thing, though, feeling raw and worn to his core.
Cougar is unusually vocal this morning, and surprise, Jake loves it. He lets the sound wash over him like a wave, sinking into a headspace where the words don't have much meaning at all, and focuses instead on making Cougar feel as good as he possibly can. After all these years, he's pretty good at taking Cougar's cock all the way down practically into his throat, and so he decides to do just that, taking a fortifying breath before slowly sliding his lips all the way down his cock until his nose presses into his belly.
He's grasping at the sheets under him, digging in and writhing a little. His pleas merge with old prayers and then back to pleading, knowing Jake can understand him plenty at this point in time. "Madre de dios," he gasps. "Better than breakfast in bed," he assures.
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"Breakfast," Cougar says, settling Javi back down in his seat. "Neither of you were finished and I see fruit left."
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Jake immediately reaches for Cougar, clutching at his shirt and bending slightly to press his forehead to his.
"Fu-fudge I think I'm having a heart attack," he breathes, clinging.
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"Or you will faint."
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After managing to sync his breathing up with Cougar's for a minute or two, he feels a little steadier.
"Okay, I'm okay."
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"You act panicky like that, you'll make me worry for your health," he warns.
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Apart from the obvious, obviously.
He ducks to press his face into Cougar's shoulder, quickly reaching up to yank off his glasses so he can get as close as possible, even though that makes it difficult for Cougar to play with his hair. He just needs to be close, that's all, to feel the warmth of Cougar's neck against his face, his hair tickling his ears as it slips free of its ponytail. "Cougs, I... How is this our life? The house, and the car, and the kids, god. We have children, Cougar. And we're getting married. I just..."
He fists his hands in the back of Cougar's shirt, clutching at him as he switches to Pashto so the kids can't eavesdrop. "I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and I'll be back in that fucking jungle again, bleeding everywhere, and this will have all been a dream."
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He holds on to Jake, rubbing his back as he soothes him with a light rock back and forward, trying not to let his distress bleed where the kids can see. "It's not. We've suffered enough. This is the reward for a very hard life." He kisses Jake's temple. "Besides, you forget all the nights awake with screaming infants. The repairs that took months. The car costing thousands."
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He's not trembling, but he is tense; that is, until he feels little hands clutch the hem of his shirt and tug, a small voice piping up, "Daddy?"
Sliding his glasses back on his face, he bends to pick up Javi and kisses his cheek. "I'm finished, Daddy," he says, and sure enough, his plate is clean.
"Good job, buddy," he says, giving him another kiss before setting him back on the floor. "Can you and your sister go get dressed for me? I'll take you to school this morning but only if you two dress yourselves." It's a guarantee that they'll wind up wearing something ridiculous and eye-wateringly bright — they are definitely his kids — but it will also give him and Cougar another few minutes alone, and he wants that very much.
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It gives him time to cup Jake's cheek, giving his partner a worried look. "Querido, it's not fake."
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It's easy enough to lean forward and give him a gentle kiss before stepping away, even if he wants to just curl himself around Cougar the way they used to and hang on for dear life.
"I have to get dressed so I don't cause a riot in the kiss and ride. You should go back to sleep."
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"If you come back in the next thirty minutes, I will nap and then you can wake me up with a blowjob."
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"And if I'm late?" Jake is planning on waking up Cougar with a blowjob regardless, but he's curious what Cougar will say.
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Once he's done with that, he collapses face-first on Jake's pillow, inhaling the smell of him deeply before he lets his exhaustion catch up to him.
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It's so tempting for him to follow Cougar back upstairs and climb into bed with him, but the kids come thundering down the stairs at that exact moment, and he's sucked into the minutiae of parenthood. Once he gets their lunch boxes in their hands and their backpacks on their backs, he ushers both kids out the door, only remembering when he's at the door to grab a pair of shorts off the clean laundry pile on the cough to cover up so he doesn't cause a scene.
It's only once he's got both kids in their car seats and has put the van in reverse that he realizes that he's wearing a pair of American flag-print board shorts. Cougar will laugh at him when he gets home.
He and the kids scream their way through three of Queen's Greatest Hits on their way to school — it's close to their home, which is great, just about in between them and Julie, which makes pickups easy for everyone involved — and this time Jake does get out of the van when he pulls up to school so the kids can give him one last hug and kiss before they race towards the door. The teacher on door duty grins at him and waves, clearly enjoying his get-up, but if she expects Jake to be embarrassed, she's wrong. He grins back, waving at her and his kids, before loping back towards the van so he can get home in time to wake up Cougar during his self-imposed window of time.
He doesn't break any speed limits getting home, but it's close. By the time he parks and lets himself back in the front door, he's pushing twenty-nine minutes. Taking the stairs three at a time means he manages to get into the bedroom just before the half hour mark.
His hands slide up Cougar's thighs just as thirty minutes tick by, fingers reaching for his waist band.
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He smiles, drowsily, and turns so he's face-up in bed. "I was having a very nice dream," he shares, his eyes still closed. "Do you think you can beat it?"
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"I'll do my best," he promises, winkling Cougar's sleep pants down just enough that he can dip his hand inside and carefully pull his cock free. He's soft in his hand, vulnerable, and Jake is gentle as he ducks his head down and presses a soft kiss to the head just barely peeking out of the foreskin.
Cougar was the first man Jake ever actually slept with, and it was a surprise for him to realize that he likes doing this way more than he thought he would, drawing his flaccid cock into his mouth and feeling him harden against his tongue. Now that they have kids, the times they have sex are often fast and hurried, and he doesn't get to indulge in enjoying himself as much as he'd like. This morning, he can, and he takes advantage of that with gusto, humming happily to himself as he draws Cougar deeper and deeper into his mouth.
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Like this, the whole world falls away and all that matters is Jake, down below, in the most wonderful place ever. "That's it," he coaxes. "Such a good boy, novio. So good."
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Cougar's praise draws another hum from Jake's throat, something high and keening as he settles down between Cougar's legs on the bed, his hands flexing on his thighs. Pulling away is the last thing on his mind, but needs to correct Cougar's mistake. "No, babe. Prometido." He can't help the ridiculous grin that splits his face for a moment, but then he remembers that he's got a job to do , and ducks his head back down to get back to business.
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(The first, of course, being all curled in a pile with the children while the rain outside gives them no reason to be up, with breakfast hot and ready and waiting)
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It seems that Cougar is settling in for the long haul, which means Jake can turn all his attention to the task at hand. They know each other well enough to be able to push and prod and move these moments along quickly, touching each other in just the right way to get off as fast as possible, but considering how little sleep they're both running on right now, fast is definitely not on the menu. Not to mention they have the whole day stretching out in front of them, a whole day without the kids.
Jake adores his kids, obviously, but it is kind of nice to have some uninterrupted adult time.
He hums happily to himself as Cougar thickens up against his tongue, gently bobbing his head as his hands knead Cougar's thighs.
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And to think, Jake hadn't had the first idea on how to do this, all those years ago. How far they've come. "Jake," he gets out, a gasped sound.
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He all but purrs when Cougar gasps out his nape, letting his tongue flick beneath the delicate head as a reward, teasing and light little touches before he switches to proper suction again and pushes himself down.
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