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Cpl. Jake Jensen ([personal profile] igotacrossbow) wrote2016-06-27 05:13 pm
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open rp post
you know the drill
paralaje: (so freaking angry)

[personal profile] paralaje 2016-07-23 10:57 pm (UTC)(link)
"Okay, papi," Aisha sing-songs on her way out, which is the last straw for Cougar. The pistol is out of the holster and the only reason Aisha doesn't get a bullet in her shoulder is because the safety is on. By the time Cougar's clicked it off, she's ducked around the corner, leaving Cougar to swear under her breath about nosy bitches who poke their nose into everything.

Cougar shoves the safety back on and slams the pistol on the table, shoveling eggs into her mouth while the nausea is still gone, taking advantage of the moment.
paralaje: (leather jacket)

[personal profile] paralaje 2016-07-23 11:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Cougar snorts when Jake uses the word 'accident' and gives him a disbelieving look. "Yes," is all she says, heavy and emphatic as she turns to her toast, tearing it apart into pieces viciously, chewing it as she tries to think of how she's supposed to tell him. He's going to figure it out, but there's a cowardly little part of her brain that wants to just let it go and wait until then.

Pooch, seemingly unaware of the danger of the room, heads to the coffee maker, eyeing Cougar as she steals Jake's toast, too. "Shit, I haven't seen anyone eat like that since..." his idle words trail off and he blinks, stares at Cougar, then at Jensen.

She can't shoot Pooch, but she sort of wants to.

How can she really be this obvious?

"Y'know what, I'm going," Pooch says, jutting a finger to the door before he makes a daring escape.
paralaje: (head down)

[personal profile] paralaje 2016-07-23 11:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Both their toast finished, Cougar pushes the plate aside and slumps back in the chair, her stomach barely showing at all. It just looks like she's had a big meal and it's only that she's so lean and wiry that there is any hint of a bump. "You didn't do anything wrong," Cougar says, not wanting Jake to suffer like this. "Promise," she insists, giving him a long look.

She breathes out and doesn't know what to do. He deserves to know, but not here. "Come," she says. "Bedroom."
paralaje: (eyebrow up)

[personal profile] paralaje 2016-07-24 01:26 am (UTC)(link)
Cougar gets up, slings her rifle over her shoulder, and tucks the pistol back in the holster. Maybe with her hormones, it's not a good idea to be carrying this much heat, but at the same time, she's not giving them up, not now that her clock is running out of time. She lets her boots tramp heavily on the floor until they're back in their little shared bedroom, where Cougar lingers by the dresser, thumb brushing the candid photo of the two of them, grinning like idiots after Cougar won Jake the biggest prize at the carnival with her sharpshooting.

They could take the child there.

If there is a child.

The thought accosts her and though she hasn't considered it (she's a good Catholic girl, for the most part), it rears its head now. Standing, back to Jake, Cougar takes off her leather jacket and drapes it over the chair, pacing a little, anxiously. "I went to the doctor," she starts.
paralaje: (head down)

[personal profile] paralaje 2016-07-24 03:08 am (UTC)(link)
She shakes her head, turning around to face Jake as she sits on the edge of the bed once she's disarmed, leaning down to pry off her boots so she can rub at sore feet. Sitting in the crawl space gets her away from everything, but it makes her ache.

"I'm pregnant." There, she said the words and in English, even. There's no chance that Jake won't be able to understand what's happening. She eyes him warily, hoping his legs don't give out on him.
paralaje: (eyebrow up)

[personal profile] paralaje 2016-07-24 12:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Cougar raises her brow very slowly when Jake reacts the way he does. She not entirely surprised, but it's a little disappointing when there's nothing but shock on his face. She had hopes that one of them might handle this properly. "Two months," she replies, hands on the bed so she can lean forward, shoulders rounded.

"It's yours," she adds, like that needs to be said.
paralaje: (lift)

[personal profile] paralaje 2016-07-24 03:11 pm (UTC)(link)
This is the problem. Cougar is a good Catholic girl, for the most part. Yes, the fucking outside marriage isn't good, but she's not a saint. Now, she's pregnant outside marriage and she's not sure whether she wants to keep it or not. She knows what happens if she does that, though. Yes, she keeps her career in the army, but she's going to lose Jake. He might say it won't matter, but it will. It will eat at them because he wants kids and she'll have taken that away.

And why? Because she's not ready now? She does want kids, someday, but she hadn't considered it possible, especially not after Bolivia, the sins of which she feels heavy on her back, still. "I don't know what to do," Cougar admits frankly.
paralaje: (head down)

[personal profile] paralaje 2016-07-24 03:35 pm (UTC)(link)
"Upset I made a mistake that led to this without planning," Cougar admits, easing one hand to her stomach like she can somehow make a decision as she touches where the baby is growing. "I don't think I can end the pregnancy," she admits, because no matter what she feels, there are parts of her faith that are hard to deny.

And after Bolivia, one more child's soul on her conscience isn't something she thinks she can bear.

"One of us would have to retire," is what she says, and she's never thought about it, is the problem. "My family..." Cougar exhales sharply, because 'will probably disown me' is very much true.
paralaje: (lift)

[personal profile] paralaje 2016-07-24 03:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Cougar swallows the fear in her throat. If he's offering to keep the baby, to retire, there's a part of her that wonders if he would do it without her. Let her work because that's what he thinks she wants. And then, then, Jake would meet a normal woman with normal habits and emotions and she would lose him.

"I wanted a family," she admits, staring down at her socked feet. "I wanted to plan it." With a boyfriend who might then be a husband, or even another woman. Cougar had been intending to have things in line. "To have a home where we would raise a happy child, one who never has to hurt."
paralaje: (eyebrow up)

[personal profile] paralaje 2016-07-24 04:13 pm (UTC)(link)
"Stop apologizing," Cougar growls, her anger building up to the point she can't keep it in. She takes advantage of Jake being so close to smack him in the chest (though lighter than she could) and gives him a frustrated look. "It's not your fault. I love you, you're the only one I would've wanted this with." She keeps her gaze slightly aside, just in case she has to end up watching a bad reaction to those words.

"You're not raising this baby," she says, but before he can feel the pain of those words, she finishes, "not without me."
paralaje: (calm)

[personal profile] paralaje 2016-07-24 04:28 pm (UTC)(link)
"If I let you raise the baby, you will. And you will be the best father," Cougar knows. "And other women will see. Other women will love you, want you, and one of them, someday, will have you while I'm gone." She knows this. She knows that if she goes back to a career, she loses Jake and probably the child, somehow.

She shrugs, like it's a matter of fact thing when it's not. When it's something that's been tearing her apart. "Besides," she says quietly, and realizes as she speaks that it's the truth, "I don't know how many more lives I can take before it breaks me."
paralaje: (so stupid)

[personal profile] paralaje 2016-07-24 04:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Cougar stares down at him, her brows pinched and knitted together, not sure she understands. She gapes at him, because now it just sounds like he's going to stay while she goes. "Jacob," she snaps. "If you're staying now that I'm retiring, you're going to get my last shot bullet in your dick," she warns.

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